Recipe: Dried Squid

And now for something completely different.

Grocery store down the road just had a shipment of dried squid - something I haven't ever had before. I wandered around the Internet, found and combined a few recipes, substituted some ingredients, and made this thing...

Ingredients
2 pounds dried squid
1 cup hot red pepper paste
2/3 cup olive/vegetable oil
2/3 cup honey
Garlic, sesame seed oil, and whatever else you want, to taste

Super simple to make - just chop up the squid a little bit, if it isn't already, mix the sauce well separately, combine them, and refrigerate.

This will last forever, is quite tasty, and is actually pretty cheap, at least where I got it - $4 for the squid, another $2-3 for everything else.

Would make again.

Pun of the Day: We, the jury, find the defendant gillty of terrible fish puns.

Recipe: Szechuan Meatballs and Pasta

This week's recipe is for Szechuan meatballs and pasta. It was overall very delicious, very filling, and there was quite a bit left over after the fact, even with two people eating it.

For those of you who don't know what Szechuan is, it's a sort of cuisine from China. It is most well known in America for the eponymous Szechuan Sauce that you can find lying around your local food procurement center, if you are lucky.

Anyways. These are the things you will need for making this dish, in no particular order...

1 box of pasta

1 pound of ground beef/turkey/soylent green

4 cups Nappa cabbage (Also known as Chinese cabbage, even though it cannot produce documentation verifying its nationality.)

Some fresh garlic

Crushed red pepper

Some salt, chinese five spice spice, and other spices

1/4 cup Szechuan sauce

4 tablespoons cooking oil

2 green onions

1 cup beef broth

2 tablespoons corn starch

To begin with, you'll want to mix the meat with your salt, Chinese five spice spice, and 1 tablespoon of corn starch. Use a fork or other implement and mix thoroughly, and then use 1-2 tablespoons of the mixture to make meatballs. Should make 10-15 meatballs without a problem.

You'll also want to cut up your Nappa cabbage, green onions, and mix the beef broth with the other tablespoon of corn starch before continuing.

Next, heat 2 tablespoons of your cooking oil in a pan and add the meatballs. You'll want to brown them on both sides, turning them only once to make sure they don't break apart. We're not making Szechuan ground meat, after all. This should take 2-5 minutes, depending on your stove and your patience.

(They do not need to be completely cooked at this point. They will be cooked more thoroughly later in the recipe, while soaking in the sauce. Don't be afraid to take them off a little underdone.)

When they're done, remove them from the pan, clean it, and heat the other 2 tablespoons of oil. Add your garlic and red pepper flakes, as well as any other spices you might desire. Let this cook for a few seconds, then add your Szechuan sauce, the beef broth and cornstarch mixture, and Nappa cabbage. Cook until the cabbage starts to wilt, again 2-5 minutes.

After the cabbage is getting all wilty, add your meatballs back in, reduce the heat to a simmer, and cook for another 10-15 minutes, or until sauce looks and seems a bit thicker than it was.

While the sauce, cabbage, and meatballs are simmering, cook your pasta. I shouldn't have to tell you how at this point, but if you really need to know, just boil some water and pour it out on one of your feet. Really. After doing so, just take a careful look at your pasta box and you should know how fairly quickly.

And now, you're done. Simply put the desired amount of pasta on a plate, pour some sauce, cabbage, and meatballs on top of it, and enjoy.

As a warning, this is rather spicy, so you might want to avoid making it if you are sensitive to that sort of thing. Or just get ready to chug some milk and eat some white bread.

Comments, insults, and suggestions can be dumped down below on your way out. I hoped you enjoyed the recipe, and let me know how it tastes if you try it, will you?

Recipe: Mash-ed Potatoes

For Thanksgiving, I'll post a terribly boring recipe for mash-ed potatoes! (This is how it should be pronounced. Trust me, I write a blog!)

So, for mash-ed potatoes you'll need this stuff...

Potatoes (preferably ten or more pounds of russets)
Butter
Milk
Salt, pepper, and whatever else you want in the area of spices
Zero cans of gravy (if you like gravy, go read another blog - this blog is not gravy-friendly)

First, you'll want to wash and mostly peel your potatoes. Leaving a little peel is all right, as it doesn't ruin the flavor or the consistency.

(In other words, no, you don't get extra points for perfectly peeled potatoes. More likely you get crazy points, but I'm not part of the Point Award Bureau, so you an take it up with them. Be warned, though, they'll probably give you some annoying points for doing so...)

Now, boil some water in a big pot. The more potatoes you have, the bigger the pot you use must be! Exciting, I know, but it had to be said. Really. They pay me for this kind of stuff.

(Disclaimer: If you are a time lord, you need not worry about pot size. Also, you can probably do something more interesting than reading this blog post, so please go away and do that thing.)

Put your potatoes in the boiling water.

This next step is crucial: if the potatoes begin to scream, you should probably turn yourself into the police! I can't count the number of times I've failed to follow this step and ended up making something other than mash-ed potatoes. It's a real problem.

Assuming that your potatoes lack vocal cords - or are properly gagged - wait for a while and begin poking them with a knife to check if they're done. If they start screaming at this point, you probably skipped the last step, and should probably check to make sure you got your ingredients list correct.

The potatoes are done when you can stick a knife in them without much resistance  I never remember how long this takes, but it shouldn't be more than an hour.

Now that your potatoes are easy to stab, you should probably stab them all a few times, just to make sure you're all set to continue.

(For added personal enjoyment, invite your family over, laugh maniacally while doing so. To double to fun, add some splashes of red food dye to your clothing before beginning!)

When your potatoes are all done - and you are satisfied that none of them would ever dare revert to their previously held difficult-to-stab state - pour the contents of your pot into a strainer and then put the potatoes back into the pot.

Now it is time to make the easy-to-stab potatoes into mash-ed potatoes. To do so, you should use a potato mash-er and turn them into roughly the consistency you want for your mash-ed potatoes. This may take quite some time, depending on the volume of mash-ed potatoes you happen to be making.

(Disclaimer: All designations of time, volume, or distance may not hold if your kitchen oven generates the Planck Energy. Also, the government would like to speak to you!)

While mash-ing the potatoes, you also want to add some amount of milk and butter to make the mash-ed potatoes the proper consistency. Add more milk and butter for more creaminess.

After the mash-ed potatoes are the appropriate consistency and creaminess, taste them. They will be bland. Add salt and pepper until the proper degree of not bland has been achieved. Serve while still warm, with some additional butter on top.

(No, gravy is not allowed. If you need some time to yourself to come to terms with this policy, watch this!)

Any comments, complaints, suggestions, or your least favorite type of gravy can be be left below in the comments section, and have a happy avian consumption day tomorrow!

Recipe: Pannukakku

Today I am not making anything interesting for dinner. As a plus, you all get to see the recipe for my favorite breakfast dish.

Pannukaku is a Finnish dish that is well known in the U.P. of Michigan. It's kind of similar to a pancake, but it is usually a bit more flavorful, is baked in an oven, and, most times, is served with a jam of some sort to put on top, rather than syrup or butter.

So, how do you make?

Well, you'll need this stuff...

2 Eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup flour
1/4 stick butter
Some sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla extract
A square pan, about the same size and depth as a cake dish
Your favorite type of jam! (optional; I actually prefer it with butter, but to each their own)

To begin with, you'll want to preheat the oven to 375 degrees. (The dish should take about 15-20 minutes to cook, and can be prepared in about five, if you're quick about it.)

After that, slice up the butter and put it in with the milk, preferably in a glass measure cup. Microwave for about two minutes or until butter is melted.

While the butter and milk is being heated, crack two eggs into a large mixing bowl and whisk thoroughly.

When finished, add the milk and butter to the eggs and whisk thoroughly again. Then, add the sugar and cinammon, continuing to whisk.

(I usually add about three full spoons worth of sugar to my mix, and just a little bit of cinnamon  Probably best if you experiment a little and figure out how much of those you want.)

Finally, add the flour. You'll want to do this in steps, as you don't want tons of little flour balls floating around in your mix. I recommend adding it via two 1/4 cups rather than one 1/2 cup of flour.

Then, grease your pan, pour the mix in, put it in the oven, and bake for 15-20 minutes or until it looks something like this.

Afterwards, you'll want to cut it up into manageable pieces to eat, and this recipe should serve two people. If you want to make more, you'll need a larger baking dish.

Also, traditionally, linden berry jam is what is used for the pannukakku. In case you want an authentic Finnish experience, or some jazz like that.

Comments, insults, suggestions, and all other forms of text, image, and video can be put below in the comments section. I hope you enjoyed the read.

Recipe: Carbonara

Today I made a dish that a lot of my friends are already very familiar with - carbonara. It's easy to make in large or small quantities, generally tasty to a wide range of people, cheap, and a lot of different things can be added to it.

Anyways. Here's the basic recipe...

Pasta (I never measure anything for this recipe and it usually works out anyways - it is very generous)
Turkey Bacon (can use real bacon, but I've preferred turkey for a while now)
Eggs
Spices

You'll want to cook the bacon, and the pasta. Doing so at the same time is acceptable. Bacon crunchiness is variant - I prefer mine not so crunchy, but it's really up to the individual.

(I usually use elbows as my pasta.)

After the pasta is done, strain it, remove the pot from the burner, and put the pasta back in. Crack and add 1-3 raw eggs, based on the amount of pasta you have and how egg-y you want it to be. Toss in the bacon and mix thoroughly. The heat of the pasta will cook the eggs to an appropriate degree.

At this point, you want to add spices and, possibly, some olive oil. I generally use some combination of seasoned salt, pepper, salt, garlic powder, and red pepper flakes, and add a little olive oil to make it a little less dry if necessary. I'd advise you experiment with amounts and types of spices on your own.

And, now, things to add. My personal favorite is to add mushrooms and saute them with the bacon before adding either. You can try just about any sort of additional meat or vegetable, and mixing up the sort of noodles you use will also provide some interesting results.

Let me know if you try anything cool in your carbonara! Also, if you have any suggestions as to things I should cook, read, or write about, I'm all ears.

Recipe: Chicken and Edamame Chowder

This week I made a soup! It's not quite what I expected from a chowder, as it is more of a chicken based soup with lots of tasty vegetables and bacon in it.

Anyways. This is what you need to make it...

1.5 pounds raw chicken
Bacon!
2 cans cream corn (all cans ~14.5 ounces large)
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can chicken broth
3 cups shelled edamames (soy beans, for those not in the know)
1/2 of a chopped onion
Spices

First of all you need to dice as much bacon as you'd like into small cubes, or some semblance of small cubes.  Take that and fry it in a pan with the chicken until both are done. (I would not suggest more than one normal sized package of bacon, but beyond that, the amount is more or less up to what you want.)

While this is happening, you'll want to cook your edamame. To do this, you'll have to boil some water, put the edamame in, and then remove them from heat once the water begins to boil. You will also have to shell them, a somewhat time intensive task. However, you don't have to worry about the bacon and chicken remaining warm, so exact timing is unnecessary.

When you have your bacon and chicken cooked and your edamame shelled, simply combine everything in a slow cooker, stir well, and then cook covered on high for about three hours.

Before serving, add seasoning as desired. I would advise a bit of salt, a bit of red pepper flakes, and a good amount of pepper. I'm sure other things would be tasty, as well.

The soup itself is quite good, and I will try it in the future with some different or additional vegetables. With the addition of salt and some spicy seasoning, i.e. red pepper flakes, it becomes a very tasty combination of sweet, salty, and spicy.

Suggestions on things to cook, books to read, and things to write about are most welcome as of the moment.  I'm running out of things to do off the top of my head, so the rest of you need to help me!

Recipe: Steak

So, I know this week's is a little boring, but bear with me. I was too busy to think of anything really interesting to cook, so I bought some steak and fried it up in a pan. Suggestions for more interesting foodstuffs to make should be left in the comments section, and would be appreciated.

So, what you need to make steak...

Steak (as much as you want, of whatever cut you can manage)
Butter
Worcestershire Sauce
Pepper
Garlic Powder

(The amounts of things that are not steak are heavily dependent on the amount of steak you wish to cook.)

First things first - heat up a pan on your oven, and melt some butter in it, enough to cover the bottom of the pan in a thin layer.

Next, add your steak. You'll want to cook all of the steak at the same time, so if you you need to do multiple pans or one very big pan, make sure you have enough butter and are paying attention to all of the steaks.

To begin with, pour some Worcestershire on the steak. Do this before it cooks well, and apply it liberally to both sides. Let it cook for a while, and then add pepper to and garlic powder to both sides of each steak, as well.

You'll want to cook it only long enough to make sure that no red can be seen on the outside of the steak. Don't check the middle - steak is better the less cooked it is and, contrary to popular belief, the center of a steak does not have to be cooked for it to be safe.

(Unlike pork and other foods, the only problems you can get in a steak that can be cooked away are found in the first few layers of meat, never in the center.)

When you're done cooking, remove it from heat, let the juices drip into a container for a moment or two, and then serve while still nice and warm.

You have now achieved Chef Level: Steak.

Recipe: Cabbage Soup

Today's recipe is for cabbage soup, which is more of a tomato-based stew with lots of cabbage and kielbasa in it.

To make it, you will need the following ingredients...

1.5 Kielbasa
5 cans of stewed tomatoes
1 head of cabbage
1 large bag of miniature carrots
A bottle of Worcestershire, a bottle of teriyaki sauce, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder

First, chop up the Kielbasas and cabbage and halve all the carrots. Put them in a large pot with all the stewed tomatoes and mix well.

Bring mixture to a boil, and then reduce heat and simmer for about three hours.

When done simmering, do not remove from heat. First, add Worcestershire and teriyaki to taste, as well as any other spices you might want - I strongly suggest pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder.

Serve and enjoy! Should make about 6 servings, or three meals for two people, like it usually does for me.

Recipe: Sauerbraten

Sauerbraten is a German recipe that involves marinating a cut of beef for a long period of time and roasting it in a sweet and sour sauce with some vegetables.

This recipe is a little complicated and requires a bit of prep time. You have been warned.

For the marinating portion, you will need the following stuff:

1 beef roast, usually rump or something similar, about four pounds

1 onion, chopped

1 cup cider vinegar

1 cup wine vinegar

2 cups water

Various spices - salt, pepper, juniper berries, bay leaves, cloves, mustard seed

(Use plenty, but not more than a tablespoon of anything but the pepper)

Combine everything that isn't the roast in a pot and bring it to boil. Put the roast in a container that you can leave it in for a while and pour the liquid over it. Cover or close the container and refrigerate the roast in the marinade for about three days.

Use a non-metal container and make sure to turn the roast twice a day if not completely submerged.

After three days, you'll use the following stuff to actually cook the roast:

1 bag of miniature carrots

1 onion, chopped

1 box of ginger snaps

First, you remove the roast from the marinade and dry it. Try not to waste any of the liquid. You'll want to coat it in olive oil and place it in a crock pot with the onion and carrots.

Then, strain the marinade. This will remove any chunks, as well as the onion that was used. Pour this over the roast and cook on low or high until you feel comfortable that it is well done - it should be falling apart on the edges. Will take longer to cook on low than high, but both are suitable.

While the roast is cooking, you'll want to grind up as many ginger snaps as you feel like using to make your sauce. I'd suggest at least a dozen, but it's really up to you. I personally used a shot glass in a bowl covered with a plastic bag to crush them up, but I'm sure those of you with more well-equipped kitchens will have more suitable devices to do this with. If not, just improvise something.

It doesn't really matter, so long as all the chunks are fairly small, although a few big ones are particularly problematic.

From here, remove the vegetables and roast and put them in a separate bowl for the moment. Strain the marinade into a large saucepan, and add in your crushed ginger snaps. Cook on low for a while and whisk. Keep adding ginger snaps and tasting until the sauce is as thick and sweet as you'd like it to be.

Now, add the vegetables and roast back to the crock pot, and strain the marinade back into the crock pot - this will take care of any chunks of cookie that are not properly dissolved. Cook on low for an hour or two, and then keep heated until you're ready to enjoy it.

This is super tasty, and there are a bajillion things you could do with it. I'm personally thinking I'm going to add cabbage to the vegetables the next time I make it, as well as add more cloves to the original marinade.

Anyways. I hope if you make it you enjoy it. I know I did.

Recipe: Garlic Butter Shrimp

First recipe time! This one was tasty, but maybe a bit bland the way it was prepared. Will definitely spice it a bit more the next time I make it, or try adding some wine.

Ingredients

1 lb. shrimp, uncooked
1 package pasta, preferably linguine or spaghetti
~ 1 stick butter
Minced garlic
Parmesan cheese

Shell the shrimp, if unshelled.

Heat butter and garlic on a skillet until butter is melted. Mix well. Add shrimp to pan, cook until done - they will be opaque and mostly red/white.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta. Drain it, put it back in the pot, and pour everything from the skillet on top of it. Mix thoroughly. Top with Parmesan cheese to taste.


Like I said, it was delicious. I'd say try adding something other than butter to cook the shrimp in. The butter was good, don't get me wrong, but a dry white wine or something of that sort would probably make the sauce a little tastier. In addition, adding some more spices beyond garlic could make it more delicious. Some salt and pepper would not go amiss, nor would any of the major herbs, i.e. oregano, basil, and whatnot.

And now it is time to go to sleep. If I'm still motivated enough tomorrow, I will probably post something about the presidential debate.